By Nor Hazimah Izzati Zul
An IIUM friend shared with me recently about a situation she encountered a few semesters ago. She was in the class listening to the lecture when she realised that her female classmate had brought along her baby into the class. The baby was quietly sleeping on the mother’s lap as if she understood that the mother was trying to listen to the lecture. Once in a while, the baby made some noises when the whole class seemed mindful of, but everyone ignored and acted as if nothing was happening.
As much as this could be an unusual situation, we could not deny the fact that a number students are getting married before completing their studies, and it is obviously increasing. This phenomenon leads to a few arguable questions. Among them is the question of whether this phenomenon is a good thing and manageable for the couple to cope. A lot of different opinions are also being voiced out from the public regarding this phenomenon.
Malissa Ali, in one of her tweets, mentioned that early marriage among students is a mere trend set up by today’s generation. She thinks that it is unfair for these early married couples to spread the idea of getting married early when they themselves are not being transparent about their married life, for example, receiving financial support from their family or parents even after they are married.
In IIUM, 14 out of 22 students, claimed that they would not consider getting married before they finished studying. Perhaps each one of them have good reasons to choose not to get married before their graduation. But why is it that the issue of early marriage among students almost always being attached with negative and skeptical thoughts? Could it be that this issue has not been given deeper explanation?
Islamic Perspective on Early Marriage
In one of his talks, an Islamic preacher, who is also a popular television personality, Dato’ Kazim Elias, commented that early marriage in Islam could fall into four categories (hukm), they are wajib (obliged), sunat (encouraged), makruh (not encouraged) and haram (prohibited). All these categories are based on two requirements needed in a marriage. The two requirements are abilities and intention. In terms of abilities, there are two aspects – financial ability and sexual ability.
In the context of early marriage among students, most cases could be related with two of the categories, which are wajib and makruh. A number of students have the intention to get married and they also receive financial support from some sources. If this is the case, then it is wajib for them to get married because they have both the requirements.
However, there are also cases where students have the intention to get married but they do not have the ability, specifically financial ability. In this case, it is makruh for them to get married. Dato’ Kazim explained that these students should divert from their intention to get married by doing something else such as fasting.
This could be supported by a hadith from Sahih Al-Bukhari – Book 62 Hadith 4; narrated by Abdullah: We were with the Prophet (peace be upon him) while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah’s Apostle said, “O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.”
Therefore, we could see that as much as Islam encourages its followers to get married, it also puts other considerations in order to ensure that the marriage could work out well. Dato’ Kazim also added another elements that one should have before getting married – knowledge and values.
Real Stories of Early Married Students
Another issue that is argued when it comes to early marriage among students is the doubt on the probability of early married students to excel both as a spouse and as a student. In a survey, eight out of 22 IIUM students agreed that getting married early or before completing studies could affect one’s academic performance, while ten of them answered “maybe”. However, stories like the ones mentioned below showed otherwise.
The story of Nur Sauri Yahaya and his wife, Hanis Salwani Othman, both from Universiti Utara Malaysia (UUM) shows that they succeeded in graduating with first class honours, despite the fact that they got married while studying.
There is also the story of Dr. Syahr Musafir, a graduate of a university in Adelaide, who was offered to pursue his studies straight away to Doctor of Philosophy (PhD) level after receiving his Bachelor’s degree, which proves that being married early does not affect his studies.
Another story is of a couple, both students of UUM, who were criticised for their decision to get married. Dg. Ku Zunaidah Ag. Majid and Iskandar Ab Jaafar, who nevertheless, graduated with a high CGPA of 3.93 and 3.97 respectively.
All in all, people do not simply fall in love and then decide to get married. Along with the decision to get married, a lot will need to be given the thought. In fact, it would be thoughtless to just get married without good preparation. For a student to get married, even more thought would be needed or be considered.
As long as the marriage is done on the right purpose, in the right manner, and in accordance with Islamic principles, it should go on without being affected by the fact that the bride and groom are still students. However, there is no promise that it would be easy. Nonetheless, it always depends on the individuals themselves to put their effort in making things work out for them.
I would like to quote from Qatrunnada Jamal, an IIUM final year, and a final semester student, a wife and a mother of a two-year old Zayd Kamal, who said, “Marriage is a positive changer in my life and I believe it is for everyone’s life, but you firstly need to take it in the positive way”. ***