By Muhammad Faiz
“The last decade has taught me a lifetime of lessons. I have learned that secrets make you sick. I am learning how to be a voice and not a victim. I have learned that sex is natural. I have learned that love is necessary. Heartbreak is unavoidable, and loneliness is brutal. I have learned that the key to being happy is to tell your truth and be OK without all the answers. This is my story. This is “Simply Complicated.” – Demi Lovato
“Simply Complicated” is a YouTube full-length original documentary that revealed the truth behind a life of one of the biggest pop stars in the world, Demi Lovato. It revealed the most personal and intimate look into her life. In the documentary, I learnt about her struggles with her abusive past, her bipolar disorder, substance abuse in drugs and alcohols, and eating disorder.
Within 48 hours after the premiere, I have watched the documentary four times. At each time, I have learned a lifetime of lessons. It is really a deliberating and a vulnerable experience watching it repeatedly as it sets my perspective in the right place.
It might be weird for some people but I found learning, hearing and observing other people’s life stories helped me learn more things about life.
What have I learnt from the documentary?
- Hard to maintain recovery
Recovering from our bad habits could be a hard thing to do. It would be very hard especially when we are dealing with mental illness. For people who are suffering from any mental illness, every day is different from the day before. Sometimes it will be easy to go through the day, sometimes it would be hard to go through the day. Therefore, for this kind of people, going through each day is an uphill battle to maintain the recovery.
In maintaining recovery in our lives, relapse is one of the possibilities that could happen. Relapse is when someone deteriorates after an improvement period. This is what will happen when a person is unable to maintain his or her recovery.
The most important thing about relapse is that it can happen at any point in their life as it does not matter whether it is three months after recovery, a year or even ten years after recovery. Thus, it is very important to be disciplined in making sure the recovery is still maintained even after years.
- Everyone fights his or her own demons
It is very important to take into account that everyone is fighting his or her own battles. When we look at people around us, we only see a portion that they only allow us to see as they have this secret closet full of skeletons and personal struggles that no one knows. Knowingly, it makes it more important to be kind to one another even to strangers.
Being kind to one another would change someone’s day for the better. It is important to know that it only takes one person or one word to diminish someone to being lesser or to light someone’s life. When someone is being kind, the act of random kindness might be what the person needs to fight his or her own demons.
- Essential to remain independent and be our own individual
Being independent and being our own person is essential in going through everyday life. It is unwise for anyone to be dependent on other people in going through it, as it would cause many problems later on. In every shortcoming and struggle in our lives, having support from our support system is a wonderful thing to have, but keep in mind that it will only be successful if we do it with our own heart and our own decision.
Sometimes when we do things not because we want to do it or it is not our passion, it will not become honest and raw process from the beginning. Besides that, we might do it half-heartedly and not delivered a hundred percent. On a road to recovery, it is pivotal that the effort and the desire to change is coming on our own and not from others as it set the whole journey of the recovery.
Not only that, the same concept applies in every aspect of someone’s life. Thus, it is important to love ourselves more. By loving ourselves more, we are becoming much more independent and this leads to us to become our own strong individual.
There are more lessons that I have learnt after watching the documentary but the three points mentioned above are what resonate with me the most. Other than that, it is also important to do things and go through life at our own time and pace regardless of any obstacle whether it is peer pressure or conformity of a society.
One needs to remember that being honest and raw could simplify life if one just communicates and being open to one another. Sometimes if it is hard being open, just remember that being authentic will benefit a lot. Horace Mann once said, “If any man seeks for greatness, let him forget greatness and ask for truth, and he will find both.” Therefore, be honest and be kind and all will fall into place. ***