Is marriage a responsibility or a trend?

By Nur Shazwani Darzi

Thinking about marriage is an unavoidable act when a person starts to reach twenties. Usually, Malaysians in their twenties are still living in the universities either studying for their undergraduate programme or doing their post-graduate studies.

However, while continuing their studies majority of them start to think about marriage, partners and careers. It is never a wrong act to think of all these as long as they don’t neglect the main mission, which is studying.

Whenever university students start to think about partners and marriage, it should come together with the goal and objective that they want to achieve. Usually students make an excuse to get married so they can prevent themselves from doing prohibited things, then they start to claim that parents would not accept for them to have an early marriage. It should not be an excuse because there are a few steps that can be taken to avoid committing sinful acts.

For students who are still doing their Foundation studies, they are always considered as persons having ‘limited thinking’ as they are teenagers. It means that their thinking is confined to short-term effect rather than thinking in the long term. They do not think of something broader like adults do in terms of behaviour and good deeds.

There are a number of things that teenagers, in particular, should be thinking of if they are very serious and eager to get married at early age.

Firstly, there are hidden reasons why parents do not encourage or give students permission to get married early. This is because parents see that their children are still immature in making decision, or they still cannot manage themselves properly. So, for the betterment of their kids’ lives, they think their kids should be good in managing themselves first before deciding to go into marriage life.

Secondly, students should see marriage as a big responsibility that they need to hold on. If they feel that they are capable in managing all the responsibilities then it is better for them to get married rather than mingling around with their partners every single time. Students need to think that they have responsibilities as a student, as a child, as a brother or a sister to the siblings and not to forget as servants of Allah. If they rush into married life, there will be added responsibilities that they should hold, like responsibilities towards their spouses, family of the spouses and many other responsibilities.

It is no harm for students to think and plan their marriage and to have partners but they should come along well-prepared in terms of both physical and mental strengths. When it comes to real problems in marriage they would be wise enough to handle and manage them well in between studies and family. All these must be given clear thoughts before they decide to do so and won’t regret such an action later. ***

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