By Ainina Hasnul
Article by Elena Koshy, New Straits Times
Feature story of local artist Jun Ongs light installation by Elena Koshy was a great piece that captured a detailed insight of the art project.
I always find it fascinating how writers are able to capture the full experience of being at the event space. Elana Koshy did exactly that. She arranged her story into four parts.
Now, lets break down the story piece by piece starting from the lead.
œTHREE¦. TWO¦. ONE!
Personally, I feel like the lead fell a bit short. Despite the recommendation to keep story leads short in length, the best being under only 10 words, it mustn’t be short of information. Skimming through the second, third and fourth sentence, there was still not much context provided.
With most readers known to only skim through newspapers, leads must include a tiny bit of context in order to hook the attention of the readers to encourage clicks.
Despite the misfire in technicality, I still however find it intriguing. She started off her story with a conflict right away. As I read, I was eager to get to the resolution bit. She left the logical half in the latter stages of the story, opening with an anecdote, her own real-life experience at the installation grounds.
She described her thoughts at the moment before revealing the vital information. This is called suspended interest which successfully worked on me.
From being downright disappointed to being instantly mesmerised, Koshy described her experience in detail. She used strong verbs to illustrate the curation of the art project. Her sentences are mostly in active voice rather than passive voice to put action into the verbs used.
I felt like I was listening to a friend sharing her story. Something about the feature felt very honest. As I tried to find what it was that created this sense of trust, I realised that it was her choice of language.
She was informal, conversational and even chatty in some parts of the feature. This allows a reader to feel as if the writer is talking directly to him or her. A sense of informality was established by her usage of the second-person œyou to address the readers directly. This in turn strengthened her connection with the readers.
In the 8th paragraph, she gradually reveals the more vital and concrete information of the light installation. Where it was, what and by whom. Then, slowly explaining the ˜why and ˜how of the event.
The artist, Jun Ong, was introduced in the second part of the feature. Among Koshys advantages is that she managed to interview the artist himself. He is indeed the highest and best source for the story. Her usage of direct quotation, in my opinion, really changed the pace of the story.
Direct quotation is known to be one of the most powerful techniques for feature writing. It illuminates the personality of the main source. Through her quotations, I was able to see the artist’s individuality. His feelings, beliefs and behaviour shone through the screen of my laptop.
In the same section, the when was explained, completing the famous 5W and 1H technique.
His choices of words and pattern of speech portrayed his humility. Koshy included a great anecdote, used as a joke, where she exposed her confusion over Jun Ongs explanation. She then described that the artist only grinned and laughed as he continued to explain further to clear her puzzlement.
It is basically the duty of the writer to capture the subject on paper, describing his or her personality. Koshy did a great job at this. She even included the artists reaction and actions during the interview.
The only letdown is the obvious lack of research done before her interview. She seems to have very little knowledge on the background of the installation. There were many parts where she disclosed her own confusion.
As mentioned in the feature, this is not Jun Ongs first installation. After a quick Google search, I easily found the artists biography and previous works details.
Despite that, she managed to cover a great insight of Jun Ongs education and training background, qualification and life experiences that could only be sourced through a one-on-one interview.
This was included in the lower part of the feature, as recommended through the principles of feature writing. The way she arranged her story was spot on. Utilising block writing, I did not feel the need to back up as I read.
For me personally, the most important part of a feature is that readers are able to follow and understand the story. To ensure readers understand your message, clarity in writing is important.
Robert Gunning has previously stated 10 principles of clear writing, in which Koshy utilised . Some have been mentioned above, another is her usage of sentences that vary in length.
One great principle mentioned by Gunning advises writers to opt for familiar words in order to relate to readers. Here is where Koshy slightly slipped-up.
There were many terms used, especially in her direct quotations that were not later on explained. As she expressed her difficulty to understand Jun Ongs description, I expected her to rephrase them for the readers. I had to look up some words to fully get the picture.
Albert Einstein once said, œIf you cant explain it to a six year old, you dont understand it yourself.
All things considered, the write-up still lives up to the principles of feature writing. I truly enjoyed reading the piece as it felt honest and non-pretentious. She tied her ending well with a little play of words that leaves on a high note. ***
(This article is written as part of individual assignment series for Feature Writing class)