By Yinzhi Bai
“People are changing as they grow up, becoming more and more calm, and they can keep a smile on their faces when their hearts are turned upside down. I’m afraid if I don’t pay attention, I will make a decision which I might later regret.” – Bai
In fact, regret seems to have not been less, but even if time is over again, you may still make the same choice. It is precisely so because of the choice that you made at the beginning that it became what it is now.
No matter what happens, it is the only thing that will happen. Lucky and joy are the rewards given in life. Sufferings and sorrows are hardships to be accepted on the road of growth.
Bai often wonders if she had made another choice or decision at the beginning would she be different now, and would her life be better? Of course, the answer is ‘No’.
Bai was born in Yinchuan China in 1996. Her father was an engineer and her mother at the time was a qualified housewife. Bai lives in a happy family and the whole family loves her very much.
But her parents were divorced, so she was sent to stay with her grandma. And her mother went out to start a business on her own. When Bai was four years old her mother took her to the place where she started her business.
Since then, she began to become an introvert, as her mother was very strict with her. She lived in school during elementary school days and went home once a week, and when she was in second grade, she went home once every two weeks. She became very independent, but her personality was still difficult to approach. She only talked to people she knew well and didn’t say a word to people she didn’t know.
At the age of ten, Bai was sent abroad by her mother where she faced another episode of her life. She was forcing herself to learn a new language and to meet new friends, but such a lifestyle was not what she liked. Every time her mother called her, she always confessed she was happy and did not give her mum a real answer. As long as her mother wants her to do it, she will try her best to not let her down.
She gave up her hobbies and dreams and grew up in the way her mother had wanted her to be. She became a good child in the eyes of others, but only she knew that she was becoming more and more introvert, losing confidence, having no goals in life, not making progress in her studies, and maintaining a low grade.
As she grew up her mother chose journalism for her to pursue her studies. But she knew that she was not suitable for this course because she was not good at liberal arts since she was a child. Although she inherited her father’s talent in mathematics and her mother’s business abilities, her mother felt that it was better for her girl to learn literature.
Although she didn’t like it, she knew that her mother was doing it for her own good. So, she worked hard to overcome difficulties, constantly improving herself, and trying various styles of writing step by step, but she knows that she still has many shortcomings.
With Allah’s guidance, she has always been on the path of Allah, and Allah has been helping her to recite the Quran and learn about Islam. She found a group of like-minded friends. She also believes that she can take her time. “Change yourself to make yourself better and better.” So, in fact, what makes oneself better is never the decision itself, but the hard work and persistence of one person.
Bai reflected: “It is better to treat life as a huge playground. Even if you accidentally fall, don’t just cry on the ground because there are still many beautiful things waiting for us to discover. Everyone has a path to travel alone in his life. Some moments are really difficult, but you must believe that after the darkest night is the brightest dawn. There will be a day when the bridges are strong and the tunnels are bright.”
Someone asked her if she was afraid of the changes brought about by time. In response she said: “Sometimes I feel like I am an extraordinary person. I want to be eager to succeed, and I want at the same time to be rewarded for my dedication.”
But, often things go against her wishes. “Sometimes I am really afraid of growing up,” Bai lamented.
She thought there are so many people who are better than herself, and they are getting better and better.
It seems that they are the only ones who stay in place. They too may be particularly worried if they will not be able to do what they want to do in the future, and unconsciously, they will become very anxious.
Maybe everyone will be like this, facing the unknown time, and with the increase in age it is unavoidable to worry and panic about it. However, there has never been a standard answer to the so-called “success”. Even if we are still unknown at the end of our life, who would say that we cannot always love life and be sincere and kind?
No matter how hard the road ahead is, as long as one moves in the right direction, no matter how bad it is, he or she will be closer to happiness than standing still.
There are so many little things in life. So, don’t be wronged, don’t give up, look forward to your ideals, have expectations in your heart, and be your hero in ordinary years.
Bai treasured this passage: “No matter what kind of pain you are suffering, you must believe that every time you touch a wall, every loss you eat, every tear you shed, every setback you encounter, one day in the future will become a beautiful one, by your side. Just like the frogs kissed in a fairy tale, they are reborn. In a breezy afternoon or on a rainy night, they become a lover, a trip, a job, or a lot of money.”
She believes that the energy in this world is conserved, those who persist in kindness will be treated with gentleness in life, and those who persist in being brave will also be rewarded by their courage.***
(This article is written as part of an individual assignment series for Feature Writing class)