Parents – A blessing often taken for granted

 

By Sidra Ahmed

We often realise the value of a blessing in our life only when it is taken away.  I’ve read the verse “Every soul shall taste death” many times as it kept displaying on the screen of the masjid. But I never understood the gravity of this verse until now, as I wrapped my arms around my knees and sobbed at the loss of my beloved grandfather sitting at the back corner of the masjid.

I was eagerly waiting for my exam to finish so that I could go back and pay him a visit. But guess he could not wait that long to meet his beloved, his Lord! It was around 12 midnight last Friday (21 December) when I received a call from my brother informing that my grandfather had passed away.  I was shocked, numb and didn’t know how to react. My beloved grandfather… He is no more? Slowly as my whimpers started blubbering, my dad took the phone and consoled me, “It’s okay, everyone has to die, you, me, everyone. Don’t cry. Pray for his soul.”

For a moment I was dumbfounded, finding my dad so composed. But deep inside I knew he was just trying to be strong so that we don’t fall weak.

I quickly made arrangements for my travel back to my country only to realise that I had given my passport for visa renewal.  I was completely heartbroken and devastated losing the very last ray of hope of seeing him for one last time!

I was unable to come out of the grief for a few days. His voice echoed around me.  Everything reminded me of him. And as I sat mused in the thoughts of my late grandfather, and as darkness slowly engulfed me, I suddenly remembered his advice, “Never forget to pray for your parents. You are what you are today because of them!” Yes, supplicate, that’s what I can, and I am going to do for him now, the best gift I could ever give him.

Our parents are one of the greatest blessings the Almighty has bestowed upon us. They spend their entire life sacrificing their needs, wishes and desires to raise us up. They sweat blood and tears fulfilling every little wish of ours. Yet, as we grow up we tend to forget the sacrifices they made for us.

High school graduates are usually very eager to stay away from home and start their independent life. But after a few days of returning back after class to an empty room which is full of books and furniture’s with no life, they start missing their old days where they had their mom eagerly waiting for them to get back home to hug them with all their warmth and to ask how their day was.

Islam emphasises the importance of taking care and pleasing one’s parents in great detail. There is a hadith narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar, which states that “The Pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent. The Anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent.”

We are so busy grooming ourselves for a better tomorrow, that we often forget the fact that our parents are growing old. And indeed they are longing for our love and care, whether they voice it out or not.

The saddest part is that we often don’t realise that most of the time a simple phone call asking “how are you” or saying “I love you” would make their day just like it did for us when we were young!

Sometimes, we get so engrossed in our day-to-day schedules that our parents and family are just out of the equation. It deeply saddens me how most of us treat them just as an ATM machine that provides us money whenever we need.

I was deeply affected when I heard my friend yearning to talk to his mother after she had passed away.  “I lost my mom years back, and whenever I see anyone shouting or ignoring their mom I get so upset and angry. Cause they don’t realise the value of a mother. I do, but it’s too late, albeit I wanted to talk to her now, I can’t. She had gone forever, never to return!”

We should always try to be patient with our parents. They might not be well versed with latest advancement of technology or so. But still we shouldn’t lose our calm when we explain things to them. Because they never lost theirs when they tried to help us to solve a simple maths problem for the ninth time or sit up late night, just to help us with our art and craft homework when we were a kid!

We should also ensure to treat them with respect and care. Love them and make them feel special. And make lots of du’a for them.  Supplicate for them, “My Lord! Bestow on them your mercy, as they did bring me up when I was small”. (Quran 17:24)

Don’t we want our kids to pray and treat us with kindness when we are in our old age?

Our duty towards our parents doesn’t come to an end even after their death because they deserve to be honoured in life and after death. And this can be done by praying for their forgiveness, honouring their close friends and relatives and praying sincerely to Allah SWT to reunite us with them in his Jannat ul Firdaus.

My grandfather had lost his mother when he was just five or six years old. He used to say that he doesn’t even remember her face, but yet he used to pray for her daily and also taught us the importance of praying for one’s parents. When I hear the hadith of righteous son who supplicates for his parents, is a source of a Sadaqatul Jaariah (ongoing charity) for his parents, I wonder how lucky his mother would have been, she hasn’t even had the chance to see her son grow up, yet she might be elevated in her status in Jannah because of the supplications he made for her day and night!

Often you might come across a phrase like ‘life is a test and the question paper is in your hand etc.’ but have you ever wondered when would this test end? Death is an uninvited guest. It might gatecrash anytime anywhere. So, don’t let this world blind you so much that you don’t get time to express your love and gratitude towards your parents.  Act before it’s too late. Your question paper might be snatched from you whilst you least expect it…Act, so that you don’t regret later.

Always remember, we may get everything back or replaced in this world, except for our parents, so don’t take them for granted! Don’t wait for a mother’s day or a father’s day to express your love towards them.  Take your phone and give them a call straight away and let them know how much you love them. Hug them tight and say “Mamma, Baba… I love you both so much! And I promise to never let you down, neither in this world, nor in the hereafter!”

Let us all strive hard to be patient and obedient towards our parents. May Allah, the Almighty forgive our parents and grant them a long and healthy life. And reunite all of us in his Paradise, our ultimate destination! ***

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