By Danial Yusof
Nowadays, Malaysian citizens are living in the world of technology and the cost of living is increasing every day although not all places are affected as much compared to the capital city of Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur. Citizens who live in Kuala Lumpur are mostly considered ‘rich’ people because they need to spend more on their groceries, residential rental and others as compared to those who live outside the capital city. However, this perception could be wrong for some citizens because not all of them are rich where the older citizens of Kuala Lumpur carry out a normal life just like others because the development during that time was not as rapid compared to nowadays.
When the cost of living increases it is hard for the lower-income citizens to make ends meet. The price of some raw goods such as chicken, egg and others are now increasing to the level that does not tally with the salary earned. A person also needs to think of other expenses like paying utility bills, car’s instalment and others.
Let’s say a man who originated from Perak but staying at Kuala Lumpur and working as a clerk at Maybank, he earned a monthly salary of RM2,000 roughly. When he gets the salary, he needs to think about his residential rental, motorcycle’s instalment, expenses for his family and his own expenses living in Kuala Lumpur. Can we figure out how much his salary’s balance left for him to save for his future?
Some people still argue that the reason for a person’s low salary is because of his or her poor educational background. It could be one of the reasons but people need to think that fresh graduates are now facing difficulty to find jobs, and to secure a job that is offering a high salary is hard to get, where some organisations require years of experiences and, of course, soft skills included in their criteria. Basically, to get a high salary job is hard and it is now happening even to fresh graduates with high CGPA.
Basically, after getting a job, people are keen to get married with their love ones. This is a hard time especially for men because at this stage, they are being surrounded by questions from their relatives when to get married and not to forget from their partners themselves because most women do not want to get married late. Men at this time are still struggling to save their money and they need to think of other things rather than this matter alone.
At one point, men will be exposed to a statement where he needs to give some amount for the hantaran to the family of his partner. This is a moment when the groom-to-be feels very scared. However, it all depends on the family of his partner.
Some parents do understand how life is hard to start after graduating but there are also parents who think of their own interest only. They might agree earlier to the proposal made by the groom-to-be but with a condition of some amount of money for the hantaran. Some parents tend to follow the rate of hantaran that went viral in the newspaper as well on the social media. It stated that the rate for a person who graduated with a bachelor’s degree is around RM15,000 to RM20,000. These amounts are not reasonable at all because not all men have that amount of money.
In Islam, Allah had made the religion easy but many do not simply take it easy. A higher amount of hantaran would not be the key for happiness for the couple after they get married later. A lower amount would be more blissful in Islam plus the money that they have could be used for their expenses later after they get married.
Furthermore, a high amount would somehow push the men to make a personal loan from banks just to fulfil the demand of his partner’s parents or parents-in-law to be. Basically, this matter could be settled nicely if they meet and discuss about this matter but still sometimes parents do not understand the limitations that men (the bridegroom to be) have and keep on being selfish and demanding.
A hantaran is basically a gift from the family of the man to the family of his partner. When we think of the word ‘gift’, actually it depends on the man’s family on the amount that is considered sufficient but as we keep on following the custom of the Malays today, it is really at the discretion for the woman’s family to make the decision on what’s acceptable or reasonable amount. This will be something really frightening to men, especially from the lower income group, who simply cannot afford.***