Dealing with fear of judgement

By Maryam Nasir

At times you want to be like a shadow in the room, unbothered by the people and feel free to do whatever you like.

“Why should I be afraid to do anything in my life? Worst, with people who actually don’t know about me?”

Fear of judgement is nothing new. At least for me. 

Deeply seated in our hearts, the fear will be growling whenever we try to do something new or even different from what people usually do. Not to mention when it comes to the fear of judgement of our physical appearance, brilliance, and more to discover. 

Is all the effort to not be yourself worth impressing them? To fit in society is not something easy to do.

We need to fit in to survive. If not, we just depend on being judged favourably for our very survival.

Of course, we want to live freely to be what we are but that must be in line with what people usually do. So, how do you deal with the fear of judgement and be happy with yourself?

  1. Know yourself better

What makes people think they know you better than yourself? Before you decide to lose yourself, stop worrying about them. Instead, know yourself first in order to deal with the fear of being judged by them. Take control of yourself once you identify what triggers you the most. 

2. Cut off the social world

Social process, either virtual or face to face, is the phase that always trigger our anxiety because we deal with human beings. It is okay to pause and cut off for a while to focus on our self-development. A little break won’t hurt us, such as keeping your phone on “flight mode,” don’t constantly check your messages for certain days until you’re okay and ready to deal with it. 

3. Get it over with and be confident

Stop thinking about what people will think about you as long as you know it doesn’t harm anyone with your actions. Having a motivational motto and repeatedly saying in our mind helps us overcome tricky situations. It doesn’t have to be too long and meaningful. Simple words like “I got this!” or “I can do this!” will be beneficial enough as long we believe in ourselves. Then, show the world that nothing can stop us from being ourselves and not other ‘persona’ of strangers as they expected us to be. 

Undeniably, the fear of being judged is very synonymous with insecurities. It is almost impossible to say there is someone who’s born with any insecurity and is perfect in everything. So, it is normal to be out of track sometimes but make sure to be back on track on time to avoid any harm to ourselves and others. 

After all, we’re human who persistently make mistakes. Still, it doesn’t mean that we can’t improve and be a better version of ourselves than yesterday. 

Then, the excessive feeling of being judged is unnecessary when we know what action to take when the time comes.

I don’t think we’ll ever lose the fear of judgement. It will always be there, hovering in the background of our life. We’ll always feel nervous, anxious, and scared when we’re testing the boundaries of our comfort zone.

Indeed, we can become comfortable with discomfort when we’re moving towards goals despite our fears. That’s not to say our worries won’t continue to bubble “we’re perfectionists,” but we’ll become aware when it happens and can start to deal with it.

Don’t let the fear of judgement limit your life. Instead, step out from that zone and make good use of it. It’s time to shine!

(This article is written as part of individual assignment series for Feature Writing class)

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