By Iyad M. Y. Eid
Accommodated by tens of young females, the atmosphere of the houses was filled with feelings of guilt and uncertainties. Instead of being surrounded by parental affection and care, young girls, aged between fifteen and early twenties voluntarily, or by the decision of their families, stay in special houses, officially known as care centres, hoping to be purified from feelings of guilt after experiencing illegal pregnancy and childbirth.
Visiting the houses for the first time put the visitors in a circle of obscurity. The most remarkable scene is the girls’ slow move in fear of attracting others’ attention and the looks of regret in their eyes. Several months or years have already passed for their stay in the accommodation. Some chose to keep their babies with them, whilst others put them up for adoption.
Whatever the situation, the question inside themselves is the same, wondering what they will be in the future. In the course of adolescence, teenagers experience difficulty and confusion in defining their identity. How will this definition sound like after experiencing illegal pregnancy and childbirth?
During tens of interviews, the girls narrated similar stories. They were involved in immature romantic relationships with boyfriends. False emotions of love and care developed into unexpected scenarios of pregnancy, birth and isolation. They even showed the same body language.
Their slow walk into the office for the interview featured limitless fears and their facial expressions were full of guilt and uncertainties. Opening the past was like touching the wound. The moment to address them with “my daughter” is instantly followed by heartbreaking crying as if they have never heard this call from their parents, specifically fathers.
Part of the interviews deeply investigated the role of parents before the incidence of illegal pregnancy. At this point, the participating girls had a deep flashback of parental negligence. Their talk revealed that they grew up in homes that lacked emotional closeness, physical gathering and mutual dialogue with the parents in particular.
Care and love were completely absent from their mothers or fathers, who gave work life and career more priority than paying attention to their major or minor conditions. The physical and emotional distance created a wide gap between them. The parents were unconscious of the importance of establishing a close relationship with their daughters, who interpreted empty emotions as signs of hatred and carelessness.
In such family environments, teenagers develop feelings of frustration and start to look for alternative resources of love, care and attention. For the girls in the centre, the existence of a boyfriend filled their lives with the emotions and attention which they desperately waited for from their parents. But their innocent life was ended by the sweet words of the boyfriends who exploited them sexually and left them struggling with illegal pregnancy and childbirth. The born babies are another victim who will have to face a fate different from others.
Addressing teenage pregnancy to the public is a big taboo, especially when it happens in the conservative Muslim Malay community. This message is not to criticise or show contradictions. Every ethnic community has its portion of this social problem. The alarming rise in teenage pregnancy cases in Malaysia calls the educated to spread awareness among the public. The Malaysian families are the building blocks of the country. They must consider the threats which may undermine the healthy life of their young daughters.
This brief descriptive writing attempts to raise public awareness of teenage pregnancy. It is important to know that this problem can disrupt the building of a healthy society on ethically strong foundations. Controlling and eradicating the issue is possible if there are community will and professional specialists who are willing to diagnose and treat such social problem, which is similar to any medical disease or psychiatric disturbance.
The message is intended to reach every single parent in Malaysia. It is also calling concerned individuals and organisations to join this national project to protect the Malaysian society.***
(The writer, Dr. Iyad M. Y. Eid, is Assistant Professor in the Department of Sociology and Anthropology, Kulliyyah of Islamic Revealed Knowledge and Human Sciences)