A letter for someone with a broken heart

By Alya Nadiah

People say that love is blind, but do you know what other emotions go with disabilities? Depression – they’re mute.

That word “depression” has been thrown around easily nowadays, the word people use to describe a bad day to anything that causes them to feel like ending their life. But people with depression know, it is more to feel than what words can describe.

I used to think that depression is a play of being dramatic people put on to get attention, until one day I met people who felt hopeless, helpless and I realised that wanting attention isn’t the reason they felt that way.

The skies are grey, the rainbow are colourless, and the foods are tasteless, from laughing at simple jokes to crying because spilling a little amount of water. Feeling like there’s nothing you can do, right. But there is, at the moment, being healthy is the most right thing you can do for yourself.

Saying I am fine while hiding ‘thousands’ of feelings inside not knowing how to express, not knowing how to get better. You wanted someone to listen, without having to explain. But how silly of you hoping that people could read your mind.

I am neither an expert nor a psychologist, but based on experience, writing helps. I am not saying that it works for everyone, but if you can’t seem to spill the tea to people, a piece of paper might help.

Depression slowly takes over someone’s life. From little unnoticeable things that changes your life, to the biggest things you can’t seem to avoid. Then out of the blue, the dark cloud seems to be following on top of you.

People will tell you to talk, tell someone. But how do you put something, that not even you could understand, into words? How do you tell people about the urge of wanting to live but at the same time, wanting to die? How do you tell them that the feeling is not controllable, instead, the feelings are taking over you? How do you tell them that you want to be happy again but nothing seems to make you smile anymore?

To get better, it starts from yourself. Before asking for help from others, you need to learn about your situation first.

Firstly, acceptance. You need to accept that depression is a part of you now. Learn to accept yourself the way you are. Depression is not a flaw and always remind yourself that you are worth it. Despite suffering from an illness, accepting yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Secondly, take as much time as you need to get through this. Being okay takes time if you suffer from depression. There is no magic cure. As slowly as it developed, it will slowly get better. Write away all your feelings in a piece of paper and do whatever you want with it.

Thirdly, this may seem a little hard, but opening up to someone is a good move. You need to get help from someone, a doctor, a professional, or even someone who has always been there for you. None of them can cure you in just one click of button, but they will be there throughout your getting better journey as a support system, and you need to allow them to get near you.

Finally, you must know that recovering from depression is not a piece of cake but it is also not impossible. What matters is for you to have the urge to get better. Many people have been through depression and came out stronger, and so will you! ***

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