By Abdirahman Mohamed Idris
It is really a tremendous blessing to have your both parents alive with you in your life. I wonder how somebody can be harsh to his or her parents. When will we change our attitude towards our parents? Will you wait until you say I wish if I can have them back again? Some of us are not fair at all with our parents. I wish if I could know the reason why some children would be very rude and heartless to their parents who were the reason of their existence.
Of course parents can make mistakes, actually everybody does. However, how we react to their mistakes should not be the same as their reactions towards our mistakes because of two reasons.
Firstly, when we were young and unable to help ourselves they were there to provide whatever we might need of emotional and physical supports. They are always there for us without being paid by someone to take care of us or being ordered by anyone to be merciful with us.
Secondly, when parents over-react with our mistakes that would be because they are very caring for us and don’t want anything bad to happen to us. The unlimited love they have for us would drive them crazy when we make mistakes that could affect us by any means.
I remember a story I heard long time ago of a mother who was raising two children when their father died. She was young and she could find another husband and in fact after a few years of her husband’s death she received proposals but she turned them down saying that “I would rather raise my children and focus on that than bringing them a man who would mistreat them”.
Of course why would a man be nice with the offspring of another? She did what she could to raise them in a good way; she was the father and mother for her children so they will not feel the absence of the father. She was their cook, doctor, teacher and the source of love, compassion and mercy.
The years moved on and the children have become adults and both of them have finished their studies. No one can imagine how proud and happy the mother was after reaching with her children to this level. She saw her children growing step by step in front of her eyes. She dedicated her time and focus on them. No mother would like to be separated from her children but separation is one of the life norms. The daughter got married and left the house and the son stayed with his mother and after less than one year he got engaged and after while married. The mother felt that she has succeeded in her mission and the logic says that now it is the time for her children to pay back the old lady for her efforts and sacrifices.
One thing I learnt in life people like to take more than what they give. The wife was good to the mother in the first few days but so fast that attitude was replaced with an ugly one. The wife started to show dissatisfactions with having the mother-in-law around. The wife decided to bring a maid and move the mother from her room inside the house to the store room outside the house, arguing to the husband that we are in need of the maid to be around when we need her. Which means, that there is an immediate need of the maid to attend to their needs, but there is no benefit of the old lady who had sacrificed her life cheaply for her children. The mother accepted to move to the store room to keep her son away from having problems with his wife. She accepted the insult for him, how much mercy has been put on mothers heart for their children?
The wife was not still satisfied with what she did so she told her husband that they need the store room to keep their used furniture because “we are going to buy new furniture for the house”. The son replied, “What about my mother?” She said, “I dont know you have to find a place for her or send her to your sister.” The son sent his mother to his sister’s house for a visit. She stayed there for two days, then she went back to her sons house. She surprisingly found her staff thrown outside in the street. She went to the store room she found out that the lock has been changed. She knocked their [the son and his wife] houses door. The wife opened the door and the son was standing behind her. She said, œWhat do you want? The mother replied I could not open my door and my staff is thrown outside. œYes the wife said. She continued, œWe needed the store room so we threw your stuff out, go find another place to stay, except our house.
The mother was shocked and what broke her heart that her son was standing behind his wife in silence. œI could not argue with them anymore,” the mother said. She went to a family living in the same neighbourhood and asked them to let her stay with them only for that night promising them that she will leave in the morning. She said that her son and his family are not home. They welcomed her and she secured a place to stay for that night. She called her daughter whom she thought was her last hope and whom will have sympathy on her mother and mercy more than her sons wife. Unfortunately the daughter said, œMom, when you stayed for two days last time my husband did not like it and I dont want to ruin my relationship with my husband and Im sorry.
The daughter hung up after saying that destroying the last hope the mother had in this life. The mothers heart could not handle that anymore and she started crying. She would have never expected that one day her children will do such a thing to her after all the things she had been through in her life to raise them in a good way.
The host family that she was staying with noticed her crying and rushed to her asking if there is any problem. She didnt have any other choices but to tell them her story. They cried with her after hearing how her own children have neglected her for their partners after everything she had sacrificed of her life for them.
They told her that she can stay with them and from now and on this will be her house. The mother managed to find a shelter near her son’s house but is this what a mother deserves? I wonder how could someone spend his day busy doing what he or she has to do without thinking of his mother or father? How can the days pass without you listening to their voices and asking how are they doing?
The real gold that everyone has, is his or her parents. Everything can be changed and replaced – a friend, a wife, a husband and even a son, all those can be replaced with another – but parents cannot be replaced once they are gone. Therefore, one should provide them with the care and mercy they deserve especially if they are in need of that. We should start from now as long as we have the chance before we regret and say “I wish if I can have another chance”.***