By Nurasilah Ali Sabri
“As parents, of course we miss our kids more than they do. But what can I do, I do not have enough money to fly back to Medan. And if I were to go back, I still cannot feed them (her kids).”
It is a torment, looking at her teary eyes. For a moment, I regret asking her that kind of question. I never thought that the conversation we were engaged in that evening would go this deep. An hour ago, we were nothing more than just strangers sitting at separate tables.
Kak Susilawati who preferred to be called Kak Susi, looks like a typical cleaner lady that we all just passed by each day at the cafeteria. Someone that we used to label with all sorts of name – immigrant, illegal immigrant, Minah Indon and many other names. I believe they are all more than that. I don’t think people migrate from their country for fun. Kak Susi is a wife, a daughter, a mother, and a sister, just like anybody else. But behind her green striped uniform and her black rubber shoes, she carries more responsibilities than we can think of.
Unlike many other cleaner ladies there, she is from Medan and is a Minang. Medan is the fourth largest city after Jakarta, Bandung and Surabaya. Most of the Indonesians who come to Malaysia are from Madura Island. Madura is administered as part of the East Java province. Madurese people are the third-largest ethnic group in Indonesia and they live all over Indonesia. According to Kak Susi and my junior from Bandung, Fauzan Abror, Madura and Acheh are a religious part of Indonesia compared to big cities like Bandung, Jakarta and Surabaya that are more or less like Kuala Lumpur and Johor Bahru. That explains the existence of a number of religious schools (sekolah pondok or known as Pesantren in Indonesia) all over Madura Island.
Kak Susi is a thirty-five year old lady with an average height of between 150 cm to 155 cm with tanned skin. Her eldest son is 17 years old and the youngest is five. She was only eighteen when she got married. Her warm character makes it easy for people to approach her. She has been in Malaysia for three years. Her whole family is here, including her parents. She has never really heard of Malaysia before she came here. In fact, she has never been to anywhere outside of Medan other than Malaysia.
All information regarding this country was passed through her eldest brother. Kak Susi was the last one among her family members who left Medan looking for job opportunities in Malaysia. The earliest that came to Malaysia was her eldest brother who has been here for almost 17 years. She left Medan with her two younger kids while the other two older were left in Medan registered to religious school (Pesantren). Her husband came six years earlier before her arrival. Both of her parents are also here and her mom still works at the age of 64 as a bus attendant.
“I noticed that many of you collect all empty plastic bottles and squeeze it. Did you sell it?” I started off the conversation. “Yes, we sell it because there are people who take (buy) it.” I wonder how much you can actually get from that. She said that it is not that much.They could get only around 40 cents a kilogram, which they will later divide it equally among themselves. So per month, they could get more or less RM20 per person. For me, RM20 is not a lot and was not worth the effort but for them, at least they make something out of it.
Kak Susi worked as a sweeper before she came and worked in International Islamic University Malaysia. She has been working here for almost one year and a half. I asked her if there are job opportunities in Medan and why she chose to migrate to Malaysia to find job. According to her, there are jobs but the salary is low and not enough to support the basic daily expenses, the children’s education and others. So she decided to follow her husband and only bring along her other two younger kids.
When asked about how she managed to come to Malaysia, whether it was hard or not, Kak Susi said it was not hard since she came in with traveling visa. She did not go through any agent but she makes her own visa, worried that she would be cheated and left abandoned by the agent. There were numerous cases reported over the media regarding this issue from time to time. And now her visa is already expired and to renew it, it will cost her a lot of money. She said, “In my case, even to cover up the daily expenses is already hard, so how can I afford to pay the visa.” So, because of the high living expenses, the thought of going back to her hometown remains a dream. It has been three years that she has not returned to Medan and seen her kids.
Basically, Kak Susi is the breadwinner of the family. She is the one who has a permanent job with RM900 salary while her husband works as a labourer. Thus, her husband has to follow the contract. Sometimes, her husband does not work for two months. I asked her, “Is it tiring doing this job?” “Well, it is what we call a job, of course it is tiring,” she responded.
“Sometimes, if you want to follow what your heart says, it can be very tiring. It feels like you cannot walk anymore the moment you got home at night. But now, since there is a reminder pasted on the table, the students start to take their own plate to the basin, so it makes my job easier. Then she continues by saying, “I do not have to walk around anymore.”
I wanted to know more about her kids that she left in Medan, how they live without family members that they can rely on. She said she normally sent not more than RM700 to Medan for both of her kids’ expenses. I asked how she communicates with her kids and she said that it is hard since they are in school. She only gets to talk to them in every two months. As a mother, she cannot help herself but to miss them so bad but there is nothing that she could do. She missed to hear their voices, but she cannot talk to them. Her sons usually voiced out that they want to come to Malaysia and visit her, instead of her coming to Medan, especially during school holidays or Eid celebration. She said her sons are losing weight compared to the time when they stayed with her.
Despite the hard life that she had experienced, I am amazed by her dedication in giving education to her kids. Her youngest son has just started kindergarten while her third son who is 7 years old has registered at a private school. We all know how costly it could be to be in a private school but she is left with no choice. It would be hard for her son to be registered in a public school because of the process and all the documents required. And she is not a Malaysian. Thus, she does not have the right as a Malaysian and instead, she could be caught. It costs her RM1000 for registration and books, and the monthly fee is RM100.
I asked Kak Susi about how she felt seeing her people, the Indonesians who live here more comfortably, just like her own brother, her eyes reddened. With tears slowly rolling down from the corner of her eyes, she said, “He could buy his own house and all his kids could go to school. Why they could live comfortably, and I’m still struggling, I want to have that life too…”Immediately she wiped her tears with the tiny piece of folded tissue.
Seeing her that way, my heart ripped out, again and again, yet I could not do anything about it. Our conversation was paused for almost half a minute. We were both drowned in silence. Not that I do not want to say anything to break the stillness, but the words just stuck in my throat. And there, in the midst of noises from the crowd, we both sank into our own thoughts. I have no idea what was on her mind, but I was swallowing my words and sucking in my tears. I did not want to make things even harder for her.
Kak Susi did mention about going back to Medan, but she needs to collect some money first. She cannot save that much because she needs to spend for her kids. There are so many questions I have in my mind but I have been thinking the most subtle way to ask her to avoid offending her. I took a deep breath and finally asked, “Did you ever feel sad when people say bad things about you, like you are the pendatang or the pendatang haram (an immigrant or an illegal immigrant).” She softly responded, “No, I’m not. I know who I am…” she ended sadly.
After almost an hour of conversation, she politely asked permission to continue her work. I thanked her not only for her generosity of spending some time and being so open to me regarding her personal life, but I also thanked her for teaching me valuable lessons of life through her story.
After the interview ended, I sat at the table for a good twenty to thirty minutes, reflecting my ungratefulness of life all these while. Before I left the cafeteria, I sincerely made prayers for Kak Susi. May Allah SWT grant her prosperous life, good health and reward her with His paradise. Insya Allah, Ameen… ***