By Farah Liyana Nawawi
Self-love is often being mistaken with narcissism, when it actually has very little to do with how we feel about our outer self. Yet, it is all about accepting all of ourselves. Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from our actions that value our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.
Self-love is important in our nature because we are what we live by, and if we fail to love ourselves we will have no respect for everything including our own body, our own soul and our own capsule that we are living in.
Having no self-love is as if we are trying to live as someone else, as we look past over our aptitudes. It is important to raise the importance of self-love among youngsters, because without it, how can we have an authentic relationship with anyone else? Most people suffer from depression because they lack self-esteem. Sometimes, we do not realise that we are our own enemy. We keep feeding our brain with the negative comments on our physical looks or our flaws.
Self-love
The first step to gain self-love is to be completely comfortable with who we are, what we have and what we are capable of. We need to discard all kinds of negative influences and remain positive and humble every time. It is not about feeling inferior nor superior, yet we can just be content, tolerant and grateful.
The most crucial part is that we need to stay true to ourselves. If our mind is attached to the idea of what we “should be”, we are actually creating an image of perfection to feel good about ourselves. This actually causes us to feel rejected when things did not fit into the image of perfection, which makes us feel not good enough and the feeling of unworthy.
In order to increase self-love in our life, we need to become more attentive to our thoughts. People who have more self-love tend to be more thoughtful, which they are well aware with what they think, feel and want. They are conscious about who they are, rather than depending on what others want for them.
The key is also to have self-care where we pamper ourselves with every good and positive source in our basic needs. People who have high self-love nourish themselves better through healthy activities, exercise, proper sleep, nutrition and healthy social interactions.
It does not matter whether you are a girl or a boy; both needs to understand the importance of appreciating yourself better, and nurture your mind and body with constructive things. For instance, getting enough sleep so that we will always feel revitalised to face another good day or filling up the fridge with healthy whole food to feel rejuvenated and in fine fettle.
Other than that, schedule the time in between your hectic schedule for some fun, adventure and relaxation to comfort the stress within your mind. It is very important to value yourself enough to make self-care practices a regular part of your routine. Being gentle towards yourself is part of the self-love that creates a whole heart and a joyous soul.
Self-talk
In addition to that, another way to show gratitude to yourself is by using positive self-talk and be your own cheerleader. Rather than having negative and downgrading remarks about yourself, change those thought to a more positive and encouraging statements. Always tell yourself to be fearless where you can handle everything that comes in your way of contentment and support yourself in going after your goals.
A healthy social interaction is also crucial in increasing self-love in your life. Being surrounded by optimistic people and constructive environment will help us grow and build your self-esteem better. You can be engaged in regular physical activity such as playing sports or exercising which can help to reduce depression, low energy disease. At the same time, you will adapt with a better stress management ability and learn how to enhance your mood during difficult time.
Most people who create their own depression and anxiety is caused by their refusal to let the little things pass by its own. Every time when insecurity hikes up, it is likely that you will look back on interactions, conversations and experiences and wish you could change something you said or did. You will waste your time thinking how badly you have presented yourself or expressed the wrong thing.
These tendencies easily create anxiety and self-judgment, which some people may lose control and being harsh on themselves. In order to spare yourself the apprehension, which is very unhealthy beat yourself up over every little thing, you need to learn to let go by telling yourself that you have done your best and everything flawed that occur is in the past and cannot be undone. In fact, you could take it as a lesson to reflect for personal growth and do better in the future. As the saying goes, “Practice makes perfect.”
Self-acceptance
Other than that, you need to acknowledge all of your qualities. One way to practise self-acceptance is by exploring who you are and all of your qualities and flaws. You need to stop judging yourself for your weaknesses, or comparing yourself to other people, as everyone is different and special in their own unique way.
Another way to practise self-love is through creativity. Being creative helps your brain to function more efficiently and effectively. Creativity helps you achieve a greater sense of wellbeing and gain better control of your thoughts. Adopt some new hobbies such as doodling, sketching, writing, listening or playing music. It also comforts your thoughts and let you express yourself.
Expressing yourself rather than bottling up your thoughts is a healthy way to discard the negativity aura in your life. Instead, practise a grateful and optimistic attitude about life, which naturally brings hope, happiness and confidence. You need to count your blessing whenever you feel the world is not with you, rather than counting the storms that hit you once or twice.
An easy way to practice gratitude in your life is writing down three parts of your day you are grateful for, writing down two lessons you learned from the day or three qualities you are proud of in yourself.
Personality
The key to self-love is to develop a good personality within yourself. You have to keep anchored to your own value and live by it. Have a personal integrity while respecting others’ beliefs as well. You have to trust your instincts and your choices, without seeking for others’ approval on what you should have become. Listen to your inner voice before presenting any action, and learn to stay within your boundaries.
Kindness is also important, as it’s a way to show appreciation to other things or people. Being kind also puts us in a good term with people, which is a great way to lead a better life without unnecessary drama.
Sometimes, people tend to create their own problems by letting the little things bother them. There are things that should better be left unsaid, and the old saying has always stated that if we do not have anything better to say, do not speak at all. This is to avoid any misunderstanding or irrelevant arguments between each other. Self-love is not about loving ourselves only, but also about protecting ourselves from pessimism, which could hinder us from having quality life.
Loving yourself enough is good in building a charismatic personality and develop yourself into a better person with more important and exhilarating things in life. If you gained self-love, you will know how to appreciate other things better and frequently finds a way to overlook imperfections and shortcomings in life.
There is a fine line between self-love and narcissism. The latter would not do you any good because you know the world does not orbit around you. Having self-love is the real happiness because it is when you are able to accept that life is not always that wonderful yet you still choose to lose yourself and be happy with what you have.
With self-esteem comes self-love, which is essential for sharing love for attaining happiness. Bear in mind that our attitudes and feelings about ourselves have significant effects on our happiness and quality of life.***
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