By Sofia Binarlee
œBe yourself is a statement that I have heard all the time especially when I was still in secondary school, and until now I am at the university…
And I believe most of you have heard about it many times as well either from people around or you yourself into accomplishing something. Do you really understand what does it mean to be yourself?
œJust be yourself… Everybody makes it sound simple and it sounds like an amazing thing to do. I believe everyone had wished that “I could do that but the truth is learning to be ourselves is one of the most difficult things to do.”
Honestly, some of you might be explicit what your strengths, your weaknesses, and what you are passionate about. For others, you might feel like you are not talented at anything, not sure what you are good at.
Since I am in the first year, I really have not understood what it means to be yourself and what I am interested in. I tried to figure out how to know own self from books, YouTube and articles. How it matters to know. So that I discovered how knowing ourself is crucial and how it benefits myself. Self-knowledge will bring you to concern on self-love and self-care that can contribute some values to the world.Â
You have to know yourself: know your gift, know your strength. It is all about yourself, you are supposed to know yourself the best in order to create the life that you want. You are the only person who could take responsibility for your future. Be confident in who you are and bear in mind each of us was born with unique, talents and life experience.
In other words, you are good at certain things. Keep doing what you are good at and what you enjoy doing because in doing those things you will be serving others, bring value to the world, and also bring joy to ourselves. Furthermore, the more you get to know what make you special, what make you unique, that builds so much self-confidence.
œWe have certainly created man in the best of stature. [Ah-Tin: 4]
Islam mentioned clearly that you are the best stature. Do not underestimate yourself. The creature mention in Quran and your job is just finding the talent that He provided.
What are actually the ways to know yourself? There is no right answer for what you should do with your life. However, some common tips that I learned from the YouTuber into getting to know more about self. If you dont feel like you are particularly good at anything, what you should do and can do are:
- Ask yourself and list down some ideas.
When is the time I feel comfortable? When is the time I feel like I am at my best? Are there any examples that you can ask yourself? By asking yourself and list down the answers, it helps you to remember your talent, your strengths and remind you when you feel down to be more confident with yourself.
2. Ask people who are close to you.
What do you think Im good at? What makes me different from others? Is there anything that can make you know more about yourself? Sometimes you yourself is not only about how you see yourself. What people around know about you and what you want others to know from you are part of yourself.
3. Define what success mean to you.
What does success look like to you? That is not from social or patent expect of you but it is from your own perspective in life.
Then, what are the matters when you truly know about yourself, what you truly want? What will be if you dont know about yourself? The answer is if you dont know yourself, when you are faced with some obstacles, you dont know how to deal with it. In other words, knowing ourselves is a learning to make our life flow simply, not to be more complex.
In addition, a psychiatrist said: “You yourself is like your own car, you have to use it every day. In the beginning, it be a new car that is a very good car. Someday the car may not be started or engine not functioned. So, you should know what to do with the car. As you are the one who spends time with it (car or yourself) the most. You must always check the car before it becomes a deterioration.
A question comes out when talking about being yourself. Have you ever been afraid to be yourself in some situations? A feeling, thought tells you that you are not good enough by doing something. For example, myself, I dream to be a person who motivates, persuades or encourages people around me by my speech when they need motivation or support. Regretfully, I have never given any advice to them because I think that I am not good enough to be a motivator. I need better communication skills. By having this thought I will never have the opportunity to grow into the person I want to be. This symptom can be defined as lacking of self- love.
What does self-love mean? Is it eating heathy food, doing exercise, taking a warm bath. Yes, all are the ways to love own self. Yet, the inscrutable self-love that requires something deeper for ourselves it means finding comfort, rest or peace within ourselves.
A quote from Aileen”she is a life coach and self-love warrior – œdesigning a beautiful life begins with self-love. Self-love breeds self-confidence, self- worth, self-respect, self-forgiveness. Do not underestimate its power. Being love in yourself is an empowerment.
Love is a life basic needed, everyone wants to be loved and also will give back to others. You might forget something, before you give love to someone you have to love yourself first. Getting to the point how you can love yourself better and where you can fully love yourself.
Increasing the level of love in turn for self-love, the key is acceptance. How to practise acceptance? Here are some ways to cultivate acceptance:
- Telling yourself what you love about yourself and what your flaws are through journaling.
Since, we are all human, it is okay to be imperfect. You have to realise that you are not perfect. Setting down a private place for you to express all your feelings and thoughts in a way that you feel comfortable. Sometimes you may have negative emotion by doing that but just let it go.
2. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
I am sure when your sister, some of your family members or someone who you love do mistakes you may not be angry or say negative words to them. You yourself also need forgiveness from you. Dont be over blamed on yourself, learn from the mistakes.
3. Level up self-care, doing whatever make you feel amazing.
This means to take something every day that you feel fresh or confident. For example, someone love to wear fashion outfit and makeup to make her more confident in living her life. So, she takes extra time to herself. The point of this is to enhance your confidence in your everyday life.
4. Stop comparing yourself with others.
We are living in the social media era, it is difficult to not be comparing yourself with others. When everyones Instagram is perfect, a perfect life is posted online. She looks gorgeous then look at myself who does not have a thing. This feeling comes to your mind. At this point, you have to return on knowing yourself cloud, tell you that you are unique. We are all on our own paths and in reality, everyone is going through their own struggle. No one is perfect, no one is better than you, and you are not better than anyone else. We live in a community not competition oriented. It needs diversities to build something good.
Trying to practice these things to have better self-love, you can see how happy and active you are. Then the love will be beneficial in some ways to you and others. This does not mean that having to love of yourself or be yourself as others’ expectation. Just be yourself in the way you are and someone will love you. Moreover, it does not mean that you can always be yourself. When you love and know yourself you will behave appropriately in some situation and to others.
Sometime, you have the ability to inspire other people by being who you are. Just being honest and open about insecurities. Being yourself and knowing yourself does not mean being successful. These are just being accepted on how and who you are to bring your own unique contributing values to the words and help other people while enjoying your life with doing it. If not you, who will be and know yourself more?
If not you, who will love yourself more?
œLove yourself first and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. “ Lucille Ball ***