By Muhammad Faiz
We meet so many people in our life. We meet them when attending school, university, and at work place or even encountering random people during random times. Some of them become friends, some stay as acquaintance and a few of them become good friends.
Merriam-Webster English Dictionary defines friendship as “one attached to another by affection or esteem; one that is not hostile; and one that is of the same nation, party, or group”.
Friendship is indeed one of the most fundamental relationships in lives. Not only that, it is one of the most complicated things about life. Sometimes friendship is strong enough to face any trials and tribulations that get in their way. Sometimes friends fight and fall apart. Sometimes friends rekindle their friendship after a fallout.
It is hard to maintain a friendship over time especially in this media-driven society. Often, friends just fall out due to no contacting or communication made between them. Other than that, life just got in their way and thus complicates things.
Every little or big trials and tribulations could make friendship or break a friendship. Thus, it is important for us to treasure friendship by being the right kind of friends as it is not as easy as ABC.
In order to become a good friend, one must put in the efforts, as there is a lot at stake in friendship. Friendship nowadays does not mean just being nice or be tolerable to each other. It is about being there every step all the way, through every difficulty and through good times and bad times. There are traits that we need to have in order to become good friends. Not only that, there is also the need for friendship to be enhanced.
Firstly, we need to have open communication. It is best believed that communication is the key to any relationship and especially friendship. One of the best friendships is when you can go longer without meeting but you check in occasionally and once you meet, it is as if no time has passed since then.
Sometimes it is hard to maintain friendship by communicating occasionally due to various reasons and the many reasons are because we are simply living life. That is why it is ideal to check in occasionally with your friend and just talk what is in your mind. It is not a true friendship if in the friendship you do not feel safe to say about anything, especially about your successes and loss stories as friends are not supposed to be afraid to talk what is happening around them. If that is the case, the one you thought was your friend is just your acquaintance.
Besides that, the second trait that a friend should have is loving tolerance. Friendship is a give and take situation and it is immensely important to give and take in terms of tolerance in friendship. Sometimes there are friends who only know how to take and only some know how to give.
As insufferable and as great as it sounds, it is not right. It is unfair for everyone who is in this position as friendship is a two-way street and there is supposed to be a trade of giving and taking. Therefore, it is best to keep checking ourselves to see if we are being tolerance in friendship because as Robert Downey Jr once said, “To me, friendship means loving tolerance.”
The third trait is friends are supposed to be loyal. As defined by Merriam-Webster, loyal is unswerving in allegiance. Loyalty is a faithful to a private person to whom faithfulness is due. A true friend is loyal by default. It is stated in anonymous quotes: “True friends defend you in your absence, and tell the truth in your presence.” Besides that, a quote also said, “They are not your friends until they have defended you in your absence.” Being a loyal friend does that, the protective feeling within that struggles to come out when we hear someone insult, mock or humiliate our friend. It is an instinct, a pure instinct.
Being a good friend is not supposed to feel like a job or a burden because we are supposed to treat it as if it is our life and true friendship is supposed to last forever. Thus, it is important for us to re-evaluate our lives and think about the times passed in friendship. It is for us to realise what kind of friends we are and work on that and keep getting and be better. Friendship is such a treasure and we should treasure it together and forever.
A good friend is one in a million but with that one, it makes it all worth it. ***