By Evren Baba
Struggles, troubles, and problems in our life is tiring, no doubt. But, can you imagine a life with no struggle? If everything would be so perfect about our life, could we become so strong to fight with the life itself when necessary?
No one likes problems. Everyone wants to have a beautiful life without any pecuniary or inner problems. I would have wanted to have one. Although from time to time, it got me into thinking. Would life be really better if I wouldn’t have troubles in my life? Who prefers to be weak? I don’t. But, that’s the thing, though. You cannot have both. Because life makes you stronger if you can handle the struggles and troubles that you have lived through. Otherwise, those problems will finish you up.
According to my family, especially my mum, I was an outsider. Most of the time in my childhood, I struggled with my family. For them, everything I did was different, unnecessary and was not useful for my future. I cannot say that they were so different from other families. But for sure, they were quite better on insisting something that I don’t prefer to do. It is nearly hard to say that they were respectful of my choices. Maybe that’s because I was doing some big choices a little child shouldn’t do. So, that’s why they were trying to be so strict with me. The important thing is, my choices never put me somewhere that I could become worse. On the contrary, my choices have made me a better person and helped me to become stronger, and more successful.
One of the other things that I should mention, when I say my family, don’t think just about my mother and father. I had to deal with my elderly sisters, too. Until I reached ten years old, I was the only boy and the last kid of the house. Mostly, my father, mother, sisters, sometimes even my grandmother were always right against me. So, literally, you can imagine ‘all of you versus me’ situation. It was hard to solve and make themselves to accept who I am. At the end of the day, that’s made me who I am today.
It could be really something worst. Only, if I would listen to my family or let’s say if I wouldn’t do the right choices for myself. I could be a drug addict, maybe a thief, a punk, an alcoholic, everything bad that you can imagine. But, I did not. If someone else would be in my place, probably he would. There was something that keeps me alive, keeps me connected to the life and to my dreams. Yes, dreams… My dreams kept me alive and focused along the way. If I would listen to my family I could be somewhere that I don’t feel happy or if I wouldn’t focus on my goals, when I was struggling with my family I could be someone just as I defined earlier.
Of course, this is just the tips of the iceberg, I won’t tell you all. It’s not something that can be told. You need to get into that cold, freezing water and you need to see yourself. But, you can see it only after you discovered unseen parts of your icebergs. I struggled for years to kick and crack the walls that they were trying to build around me. I made it somehow, they gave up. I won. They realised that this isn’t the way that worked for me and they learned their suggestions were worse than mine. At least, they have respect, they do not criticise me that much anymore. Even, this is a huge change and an important milestone for them. Definitely, it was not easy to come here. But, they made it. I am happy that I achieved this.
So, I am not the only one in the world. Like I said in the beginning, problems make us better. Yes, they hurt like hell, but, those experiences make us ripened. So, let’s talk about some others in the world who struggled during their childhood, but succeeded to became a different maker.
Imagine a child born from a mother has syphilis. That woman had eight kids, three of them were deaf, three others were blind and one of them was mentally disabled. That woman was pregnant and the baby was Ludwig van Beethoven. Beethoven’s father was so strict and cruel on teaching piano to his son. Also, he had to work in the church as a pianist when he was a little kid. He lived serious with health problems in his life and he became deaf just like his siblings when he was 47 years old. Even so, he composed his famous 9th symphony when he was deaf.
An alcoholic father, a sick mother, a childhood spent in a boarding school completely alone. A depression which never ended and with epilepsy crises. It was Fyodor Dostoyevski. Her father was an angry person, too. They were calling to him as fire Fyodor in the school because of his anger and susceptibility. He became one of the most successful writers of the 19th century. He effected many philosophers of 20th century.
He is the first of six children. Two of his brothers died when they were babies. His three sisters died of Nazi persecution. His father was a despot. His entire childhood passed under the tough authority of his father. He could never be able to make his own decisions.
Franz Kafka when he became a person who can call his own decisions, he expressed his story in the book he wrote, Metamorphosis.
At the age of thirteen, she lost her mother. She couldn’t go to the school because of her illnesses. She always had to live with her attacks caused by psychological problems. This book worm’s name was Virginia Woolf.
When his father went to jail, he had to work for paying the debts and took care of his family. Charles Dickens even couldn’t go to a school, but, he always tried to improve himself. His book “A Christmas Carol” became one of the most effective novels of all times.
They didn’t give up and they printed their names on the stage of the history. Their works transferred from generations to generations. Their names maybe will never be forgotten. They lived through a lot of unfortunate situation, but, they became the persons they want to be. Right now, somewhere around the world, maybe you have the same feelings, too.
Maybe you feel alone, you think that no one understands you, you feel desperate. Hey, you need to hang on! One day will come and all dark coloured clouds will be dispersed, then, you will have a chance to see and feel the real energy of life. Keep on that little point of light inside of you. It might seem small, but, it contains a lot of power just like an atom bomb. Don’t think that point, that bomb will kill you. Otherwise, it will wipe away everything bad inside of your body and your soul.
Do not let that darkness grow. Do not let darkness to swallow all the goodness in you. We can try to hang on. We need to, we have to. There are millions of people who succeeded in world history. It doesn’t matter that we heard their names or not. They did not give up. So, whatever you live, you shouldn’t give up, too.
No beauty comes in an easy way, you need to demand and try to reach it without stopping. Letting it go is the easiest thing a human can do. Don’t forget those struggles will make you stronger than now. Maybe, you will never able to forget those bad memories. But, you don’t need that either. Those are the things that make you stronger. Life is not full of goodness. We have to learn both. And you should always remember happy people have no stories. Don’t you want to have one? ***